Dealing With Conflict Immediately

Posted By on February 21st

Dealing with conflict IMMEDIATELY can be difficult when we find ourselves nose to nose with our “opponent” and on the receiving end of some type of shocking, angry behavior.

Dealing With Conflict

Sometimes we’ve done the best we can to avoid or deescalate conflict, and our efforts have been unsuccessful. What should we do in those situations?

Here are some thoughts:

  • Don’t Respond. Many times their behavior is intended to trigger a response from you. Any response is going to continue escalating the conflict.
  • Wait. Avoid defending yourself, proving yourself to be right, or responding in some emotional way. You’re going to lose those battles, and you’re not going to put an end to the conflict. Let yourself cool down, and then decide the best response, if any.
  • Write your response ONLY TO YOURSELF. Go somewhere and dump all your unedited thoughts on paper. Then shred that paper, and move on.
  • Respond (or not). After you’ve had some time to cool down and move on, consider whether and how to respond. Ask yourself, “If I don’t respond, what is the worst that will happen?”. If you choose to respond, one of the best methods I’ve come across is explained in the book, Biff by Bill Eddy. BIFF means your responses should be Brief, Informative, Friendly, and Firm. Buy the book, and keep it by your side.

Are you interested in learning more about dealing with conflict? Contact me at: (239) 210-7516. Your initial consultation is free!

About the author

Keith Grossman helps individuals and businesses negotiate and manage conflict more comfortably. Keith is a Collaborative Attorney, a Family and Circuit Civil mediator certified by the Supreme Court of Florida, an Arbitrator qualified by the Florida Supreme Court, and an educator. Keith frequently lectures and facilitates training programs, works with individuals one-on-one, and writes articles on conflict management and negotiation topics. His e-workbooks, “What Is A Peace Chest?” and “How Do You Build A Peace Chest?“ are now available on Kindle.


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