Resolving Conflicts Now – Fort Myers, Naples, Bonita Springs, Estero, Cape Coral – Keith Grossman

Posted By admin on September 5th

Two Amish sisters were kidnapped in mid-August from their family’s New York vegetable stand. It was reported that the two girls were sexually abused before being set free and returning home.

These types of stories are always tragic and disturbing. What makes this situation different is the family’s use of forgiveness for resolving conflict. The family did not express anger towards the suspects; rather, they expressed sadness for them.

Being quick to forgive is not unusual for the Amish. They have a history of forgiveness when faced with this kind of horrifying behavior. In 2006, a 32-year-old man walked into an Amish school in Lancaster County, Pennsylvania, and he shot 10 young girls. Five of the girls died. The man then killed himself.

It is reported that during the horrifying incident, the man asked the girls to pray for him and to give him mercy. The girls in turn granted him mercy and asked that he pray for them too.

That night, members of the Amish community came to the home of the man’s mother and expressed forgiveness. Forgiveness for her son, and forgiveness for their family. Some of the victims’ families even attended the man’s funeral.

The mother said, “There are not words to describe how that made us feel that day. For the mother and father who had lost not just one but two daughters at the hand of our son, to come up and be the first ones to greet us — wow. Is there anything in this life that we should not forgive?”

In an article by Donald B. Kraybill for The Christian Science Monitor in 2007, Kraybill writes, “For most people, a decision to forgive comes – if ever – at the end of a long emotional journey that may stretch over months if not years. The Amish invert the process. Their religious tradition predisposes them to forgive even before an injustice occurs.”

The Amish do not believe in revenge and look at forgiveness as a religious duty. The Amish recognize that all humans have faults, feelings, and family members. They do believe in consequences; they just leave determination of those consequences to God. They believe that people who do evil things (as well as their family members) are victims of the evil behavior as well.

They also believe that it’s important to provide actions of forgiveness in addition to words of forgiveness, as evidenced by their behavior after the 2007 school shooting.

In a research paper written for the American Journal of Mediation, Jonathan Kooker writes, “The Amish believe in forgiveness serves as a peaceful method for effecting successful negotiations and mediation. It serves the purpose of spreading a nonviolent response to conflict while engaging in meaningful interaction with adversaries.”

Would you like to learn more about working with forgiveness for resolving conflict?

Email me: Keith@AttorneyGrossman.com, or call me toll free at (877) 687-1392 or locally at (239) 210-7516.

Your initial consultation is free!

Interested in discovering how to improve your conflict management skills? Purchase my e-workbook available on Kindle: What Is A Peace Chest?

The workbook is the first in the “Building Your Peace Chest” series. It will help you understand how to engage conflict with a purpose and goals rather than reacting.

Categories: Conflict Education, Conflict Management, Mediation Skills, Negotiation Skills
Tags: conflict, conflict management, conflict resolution, conflicts, deal with conflict, how do you resolve conflict, how to resolve conflicts, negotiation, resolve conflict, resolving conflicts, to resolve a conflict, Violence