Pause – A Conflict Management Strategy

Posted By on December 22nd

With Christmas and New Year coming up, I want to make sure you know how valuable the Pause can be. The Pause is a conflict management strategy.

I have learned the Pause will allow you to act strategically instead of react emotionally. Take a moment when you’re in the midst of holiday insanity to remove yourself from the opinions, sniping, and disagreements. Take a walk. Close your eyes for 5 minutes.


My friend, Judy, even found calm and joy in the holiday shopping experience. She reframed her thinking so that she wasn’t focused on the rushing around, long lines, and pushy people. Rather, she focused on the people who were enjoying themselves. She told me, “The music, the pleasantness, even the cashiers, were contagious.”

She continued that it’s hard to fixate on the negative things when “you have pleasantness around you.”

My friend, Andrea, relies on deep breathing techniques. “I will close my eyes, take a big deep breath, and hold it for 8 counts, and then release slowly. I breathe in the positive and exhale the negative.”

You know what else I have learned?

You should engage in activities that promote positive thoughts. That could be anything from a favorite physical activity to a hobby to meditation to prayer.

Andrea also has two techniques she utilizes regularly to maintain a positive frame of mind:
• “Running clears my mind and lets me refocus.”
• “I talk with my husband and my son every night. We each say at least two positive things that happened to us during the day. Of course, we talk about the negatives too, but we always finish with, ‘what did we learn from this and what positive came from it or how can we make it positive?’”

Susan Nolen-Hoeksema, a former writer, psychologist, and professor at Yale University, studied depression in women. She said, “The main thing is to get your mind off your ruminations for a time so they die out and don’t have a grip on your mind.”

In the book Energy of Happiness, Brigitte Bartley says, “Feed your mind with positive thoughts to effectively start a new day of positive thinking. If you start and end each day with gratitude, you will find new meaning to life.”

Have a wonderful holiday, enjoy your family and friends, and don’t forget to Pause.

If you like these tips, there’s so much more that you can read about in my books that are both available on Kindle, What Is A Peace Chest? and How Do You Build A Peace Chest?

Are you interested in learning more about how to resolve a conflict?What Is a Peace Chest book cover 500 201x300 Wimbledons Conflict Management Story

Email me:, or call me toll free at (877) 687-1392 or locally at (239) 210-7516.

Your initial consultation is free!

Interested in discovering how to improve your conflict management skills? Purchase my e-workbook available on Kindle: What Is A Peace Chest?

The workbook is the first in the “Peace Chest” series. It will help you understand how to engage conflict with a purpose and goals rather than reacting.

About the author

Keith Grossman helps individuals and businesses negotiate and manage conflict more comfortably. Keith is a Collaborative Attorney, a Family and Circuit Civil mediator certified by the Supreme Court of Florida, an Arbitrator qualified by the Florida Supreme Court, and an educator. Keith frequently lectures and facilitates training programs, works with individuals one-on-one, and writes articles on conflict management and negotiation topics. His e-workbooks, “What Is A Peace Chest?” and “How Do You Build A Peace Chest?“ are now available on Kindle.


Leave a Reply