The Definition of Conflict Can Include Independent Thinking

Posted By on September 5th

Anybody who is a parent knows the definition of conflict can include independent thinking. I find it odd that parents want their children to be independent thinkers, and then become upset when their children think differently from them.

When you are in a conflict, is it because you are expecting the other person to behave or think a certain way? If so, why are you casting those expectations upon them? The world is filled with independent thinkers.

People are inclined to continue to behave and think the way they have grown accustomed. They are naturally resistant to modifying their behavior and thoughts.

Definition of Conflict







Recently, my teenage son had created a scrapbook as a school project. I came home after work and found the scrapbook was sitting on the kitchen counter. I assumed my son had left it there instead of putting it away. Instead of directing him to put it away, I decided to find out if he was the person who left it on the counter, and if so, how come he didn’t think to put it away. I started by asking him why the scrapbook was on the counter. He immediately responded by saying, “Why can’t you just ask me to put it away instead of trying to get me to figure it out for myself?”

For whatever reason (and as a parent, I can come up with a bunch of reasons), it wasn’t important to my son to put his scrapbook away. In that moment, he knew he was “wrong” according to my expectations. He didn’t really want to be told he was wrong, and he most likely didn’t want to make the effort to put the scrapbook away. He complied, and in the process, he wanted to make sure I clearly understood that he didn’t have the same expectation for himself as I did.

If it is necessary for the other person to behave or think in a certain way, have you clearly communicated that to them on more than one occasion? Even if you have, they still may not agree because you haven’t shown them the value of your position.

Want to learn more about the definition of conflict? Let’s discuss it. Call me toll free at (877) 687-1392 or locally at (239) 210-7516. Your initial consultation is free!

About the author

Keith Grossman helps individuals and businesses negotiate and manage conflict more comfortably. Keith is a Collaborative Attorney, a Family and Circuit Civil mediator certified by the Supreme Court of Florida, an Arbitrator qualified by the Florida Supreme Court, and an educator. Keith frequently lectures and facilitates training programs, works with individuals one-on-one, and writes articles on conflict management and negotiation topics. His e-workbooks, “What Is A Peace Chest?” and “How Do You Build A Peace Chest?“ are now available on Kindle.


Leave a Reply