How Do Managers Resolve A Conflict?

Posted By on September 3rd

Work relationships, like family relationships, can sometimes have challenges, which then lead to conflict. How do managers resolve a conflict?

Without resolving the conflict, effects can linger, resentment grows, and work suffers.  Today, managers are seeking alternative conflict resolution solutions to manage their employees’ conflict.

Managers should try following my PEACE format:

  • P – Pause
  • EA – Ear (listen)
  • C – Create Strategy
  • E – Engage the Conflict

Peacemaker bulletin board




















Pause:
You should never immediately react to the conflict that is unfolding. You have to determine your proper response. As a leader, a manager needs to remain impartial. A manager shouldn’t show any sort of opinion that would appear to favor one side over the other.

Pause does not mean to avoid. The issue must be addressed immediately.  Without this, the situation could escalate and/or linger, and even spread to other employees.

Ear (Listen): In order to effectively manage a conflict, you have to understand what is in conflict from the both employees’ perspectives. A manager should simply listen to all parties involved to completely understand the issue before troubleshooting solutions.

Create Strategy: Before you take action to manage a conflict, you need a strategy based on your understanding of both employees’ wants, needs, and interests. You have to decide how you want to respond so that you defuse the emotions and propose solutions that address everybody’s wants, needs, and interests.

Engage the Conflict: When you begin to engage the conflict, do so in a way that follows through on the strategy you created. Don’t lose focus because of the emotions. Your goal is to respond in a way that reduces the tension and anger, reframes the discussion, and puts the situation into its proper perspective.

You should be able to follow these techniques successfully within your company’s regulations and policies.

Are you interested in learning more about how to resolve a conflict?What Is a Peace Chest book cover 500 201x300 Wimbledons Conflict Management Story

Email me: Keith@AttorneyGrossman.com, or call me toll free at (877) 687-1392 or locally at (239) 210-7516.

Your initial consultation is free!

Interested in discovering how to improve your conflict management skills? Purchase my e-workbook available on Kindle: What Is A Peace Chest?

The workbook is the first in the “Building Your Peace Chest” series. It will help you understand how to engage conflict with a purpose and goals rather than reacting.

Can Creating Conflict Ever Be Good?

Posted By on August 26th

Can creating conflict ever be good? Let’s deconstruct Donald Trump’s run for President as a case study. (This is not a political commentary.)

Photo Credit: Gage Skidmore via Compfight cc

Photo Credit: Gage Skidmore via Compfight cc

Trump is the kind of guy who says whatever he wants when he wants without concern for others people’s feelings. This is an interesting test of what the general US population will support. As a leader, Trump is causing conflict among the ranks? Is that okay?

Trump obviously has a base of support. There are people who think that he is saying what needs to be said, and they like him because he’s not apologizing for his views. Trump has stated he has freedom to say whatever he wants.

In an opinion piece in The Blaze, Susan Calloway Knowles referred to Trump as a “release valve for fed up Americans who have been unable to voice their own opinions”. She wrote, “He has become the voice of many who have reluctantly remained silent because they fear losing everything they own.”

On the other hand, Sen. Marco Rubio, who is running against Trump, responded to Trump’s statements about Mexican immigrants with a different perspective. Rubio called the statements “not just offensive and inaccurate, but also divisive.”

So, which is it? Is Trump uniting the majority or dividing the majority? Or is it sort of both? Is Trump representing the majority AND dividing the country at the same time? So far, Trump is polling well as a Republican candidate. There’s a theory that people are tapping into Trump’s persona because it represents strength, confidence, and authority. Meg Mott, a professor of politics and gender studies at Marlboro College, says, “In the Spanish-speaking world, this type of leader is known as a Caudillo, the man on horseback who takes out the bad guys and leads his people to safety. He’s rough and he doesn’t care about fine things like legal rights, but that very roughness means he can get things done.”

Trump’s attitude and perspective have certainly served him well as a businessman when you are measuring financial success. However, can he be successful uniting the country?

The most successful leaders find a way to say what needs to be said while also uniting people. There are polls that suggest although Trump is polling well in the Republican party, he is not placed well for the general election. Maybe Trump’s popularity is a reflection of the frustrated, silent masses, but can he speak on their behalf while also uniting a country? He’s not showing that so far.

Conflict can force people to have discussions that are being avoided, but that’s not enough. Beyond discussion, there has to be solutions. As Trump’s campaign moves along, we’ll see if he’s the type of leader that can only tear down or successfully rebuild also.

Are you interested in learning more about how to resolve a conflict?What Is a Peace Chest book cover 500 201x300 Wimbledons Conflict Management Story

Email me: Keith@AttorneyGrossman.com, or call me toll free at (877) 687-1392 or locally at (239) 210-7516.

Your initial consultation is free!

Interested in discovering how to improve your conflict management skills? Purchase my e-workbook available on Kindle: What Is A Peace Chest?

The workbook is the first in the “Building Your Peace Chest” series. It will help you understand how to engage conflict with a purpose and goals rather than reacting.

What do you do when you’re about to get into an argument?

Posted By on August 19th

What do you do when you’re about to get into an argument?

How do you put the brakes on, and steer the conflict into a different direction?

I recently had a discussion with Erica Castner about conflict management on her podcast, Proclamation of Persistence. I love that Erica picked up on a main point of mine, which is “pause”. Unfortunately, most of us react to the conflict in front of us without realizing the level of our negative thoughts and feelings. We react negatively, and then our behavior leads to another negative event, many times anger or even violence.

Erica showed me that she totally gets my message when she concluded the podcast by saying, “We have got to be more strategic in the way we are communicating with other people, and do our best to understand the other person’s perspective…We want to take a step back and be reflective.”

That is a great overview of why you should pause.

I also think it was awesome when Erica showed an understanding of her priorities. “I want to hang on to my relationships and to honor my words.”

You can listen to the whole podcast below, and remember the value of pausing.

Austrian psychiatrist Viktor Frankl once said: “Between stimulus and response, there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response.” Give yourself that space.


Proclamation of Persistence: The Busy Professionals’ Guide to Triumph & Success with Keith Grossman. Hosted by Erica Castner.

 


 
If you would like to learn more about Erica Castner, check out her website: www.TheQueenOfResults.com

Are you interested in learning more about how to resolve a conflict?What Is a Peace Chest book cover 500 201x300 Wimbledons Conflict Management Story

Email me: Keith@AttorneyGrossman.com, or call me toll free at (877) 687-1392 or locally at (239) 210-7516.

Your initial consultation is free!

Interested in discovering how to improve your conflict management skills? Purchase my e-workbook available on Kindle: What Is A Peace Chest?

The workbook is the first in the “Building Your Peace Chest” series. It will help you understand how to engage conflict with a purpose and goals rather than reacting.

 

Resolve A Conflict By Breaking It Into Pieces

Posted By on April 2nd

Overwhelmed. Too many projects. Too many tasks. Not enough time. These challenges put us outside of our comfort zone, and we have to find a way to work through them.

Conflict is typically outside our comfort zone also, so we have to work through it just like other circumstances that overwhelm us. You can find ways to resolve a conflict by breaking it into pieces instead of fixating on the conflict as a whole.

Identify what the pieces are so you can focus on them one at at time. Then start working with that first piece, and don’t procrastinate. We don’t like conflict, and we try to avoid it. That’s common, so you have to take action to not let that happen. Commit to addressing a piece of the conflict for 30 seconds or even a minute. Don’t focus on finding the ultimate solution. Start with small steps to begin repairing the relationship. Don’t worry about all the things you need to do to resolve the conflict. Starting something to begin resolving the conflict is the only thing that matters. Just focus on starting.

Once you get started, ideas will start to flow.

Are you interested in learning more about how to resolve a conflict?What Is a Peace Chest book cover 500 201x300 Wimbledons Conflict Management Story

Email me: Keith@AttorneyGrossman.com, or call me toll free at (877) 687-1392 or locally at (239) 210-7516.

Your initial consultation is free!

Interested in discovering how to improve your conflict management skills? Purchase my e-workbook available on Kindle: What Is A Peace Chest?

The workbook is the first in the “Building Your Peace Chest” series. It will help you understand how to engage conflict with a purpose and goals rather than reacting.

 

How Shoelaces Reminded Me To Prepare For Conflict

Posted By on March 23rd

The other day I was tying my shoe, and in the process of tying my shoelace, it ripped. I had to go into my sock drawer and pull out my spare shoelace to wear.

And that is how shoelaces reminded me to prepare for conflict.

You see, in the past, I wasn’t able to do that because I wasn’t prepared with an extra shoelace. I didn’t have one in my sock drawer, even though it’s likely that someday I would need an extra pair. On those days, I was not able to wear the shoes that I wanted and planned to wear.

And that is how shoelaces are like conflict. We have to expect the unexpected. Some days, there are just things that are not going right in our relationships, and we have to be prepared for those days. It’s when we make things up on the fly that we get into trouble and we can’t proceed the way we intended. That’s how a small curveball becomes a major conflict.

You need to be prepared. You need to have something in store, something in the back of your sock drawer, ready to handle the situation. Ready to handle the conflict.

Are you interested in learning more about how to resolve a conflict?What Is a Peace Chest book cover 500 201x300 Wimbledons Conflict Management Story

Email me: Keith@AttorneyGrossman.com, or call me toll free at (877) 687-1392 or locally at (239) 210-7516.

Your initial consultation is free!

Interested in discovering how to improve your conflict management skills? Purchase my e-workbook available on Kindle: What Is A Peace Chest?

The workbook is the first in the “Building Your Peace Chest” series. It will help you understand how to engage conflict with a purpose and goals rather than reacting.

Help People Develop Their Collaborative Skills

Posted By on November 20th

In order to be collaborative, to build consensus, and to manage conflict, a leader has to spend time and effort developing other employees. You should help people develop their collaborative skills.

Collaborative Skills

In an article by Mary Jo Asmus (@mjasmus), Asmus discusses how critically important it is for you to develop others in your business or organization. In my work, I speak a lot about “Collaborative Relationships”, where employees are able to communicate and work together effectively. The effective results are happening because everybody is asserting their wants and needs and everybody is working hard to fulfill everybody’s wants and needs.

This type of organizational culture filled with “Collaborative Relationships” is hard work. Leaders need to model the behavior and develop that shared attitude amongst their team.

I especially agree with Asmus’s assessment, “(The best leaders) know that when everyone leads, organizational performance increases and innovation, creativity and output improve.” Employees feel valued, they want to work in that environment, and they assume ownership and responsibility for the success of the organization’s mission and vision.

You can read the full article here.

Do you agree that developing leaders in your organization is a valuable use of your time? Do you see the benefit in helping them develop their collaborative skills?

Are you interested in learning more about how to resolve a conflict?What Is a Peace Chest book cover 500 201x300 Wimbledons Conflict Management Story

Email me: Keith@AttorneyGrossman.com, or call me toll free at (877) 687-1392 or locally at (239) 210-7516.

Your initial consultation is free!

Interested in discovering how to improve your conflict management skills? Purchase my e-workbook available on Kindle: What Is A Peace Chest?

The workbook is the first in the “Building Your Peace Chest” series. It will help you understand how to engage conflict with a purpose and goals rather than reacting.

Weathering The Conflict Storm

Posted By on November 18th

Today is a “weather the storm” kind of day in Southwest Florida. It’s not your normal sunshiny Florida day. Rather, it’s gloomy, drizzling, and cold. And it’s only going to get colder during the day as a cold snap is coming through.

I don’t like cold, rainy days. However, I know that I can successfully weather the storm. After the rain, there will be a rainbow. Possibly two rainbows.

weathering the conflict storm

Just like cold, rainy days, conflict makes me uncomfortable, but conflict doesn’t make me feel desperate or defeated. I know that good can come from conflict that can be positive. And I look forward to the challenges, to finding ways to make something positive happen.

Weather the storm, persevere, and look for those rainbows.

Are you interested in learning more about how to resolve a conflict?

Email me: Keith@AttorneyGrossman.com, or call me toll free at (877) 687-1392 or locally at (239) 210-7516.

Your initial consultation is free!

To Have Conflict Management Success, Think Differently

Posted By on November 11th

In order to have conflict management success, you have to be able to think differently than you normally would. Solutions to conflict are typically right in front of us. We just need to be willing to be creative.

Conflict Management

In an article by Ekaterina Walter (@Ekaterina), the reader is posed with the question: when do adults lose imagination and creativity? My answer to that question is what I call the “curse of knowledge”. We make decisions quickly and efficiently based on information we think we know and assumptions we hold.

It’s easy not to do the difficult thinking and to look at circumstances with a different perspective, a new set of eyes.

Walter goes on to discuss the value of being creative and the recognized need for creativity in the corporate world. She also shares four excellent tips from Erik Wahl, the author of Unthink: Rediscover Your Creative Genius in order “to inject a healthy disorder (in our lives) to remain progressive”.

  1. Step Outside Your Bubble
  2. Live With Some Discomfort
  3. Ask Forgiveness Instead of Permission
  4. Start Small

From my perspective, “Start Small” and “Live With Some Discomfort” are the two big takeaways for somebody who does not perceive themselves as being creative. I highlight them because creativity comes incrementally. You have to start somewhere, and you can’t have grandiose expectations because you will immediately be disenchanted. Expect (even slightly enjoy) the discomfort and take a small step that’s different than what you would normally do.

You can read the full article here.

How do you feel about making a small change outside of your comfort zone? You can answer in the comments below, and we can also continue the discussion on Twitter @ksgrossman.

Interested in learning more about how to resolve a conflict?

What Is a Peace Chest book cover 500 201x300 Wimbledons Conflict Management StoryEmail me: Keith@AttorneyGrossman.com, or call me toll free at (877) 687-1392 or locally at (239) 210-7516.

Your initial consultation is free!

Interested in discovering how to improve your conflict management skills? Purchase my e-workbook available on Kindle: What Is A Peace Chest?

The workbook is the first in the “Building Your Peace Chest” series. It will help you understand how to engage conflict with a purpose and goals rather than reacting.

Wimbledon’s Conflict Management Story

Posted By on October 7th

What was this year’s conflict management story at Wimbledon?

Conflict Management

In an article by Ben Rothenberg (@BenRothenberg) about negotiating time for Centre Court at Wimbledon, it is evident that running a sporting event of that magnitude also has conflict on the administrative side.

I teach people that to have a successful negotiation, everybody involved should be cooperative, assertive, and thankful, which can be remembered by the acronym “CAT” (Cooperative, Assertive, Thankful).

This article about negotiating time at Wimbledon shows those exact “CAT” features were part of the negotiation, which provides a great example of using Peace Chest skills. Venus Williams participated in the negotiations, and her statements exemplify the Peace Chest skills in action. Venus said:

“The tone of the conversation wasn’t really, ‘Oh, you didn’t do this and that,’ It was: ‘Thank you for all the things you’ve done, and you’ve been so wonderful about listening to the players — both men and women — that we’d like to voice our concern on this arena.’ ”

“I think the situation has to be win-win for everyone. No one likes to be pushed around, whether it’s a group or a person. I think if everyone can find a way that makes sense, then it’s a win-win. No one should feel like they’ve lost at the end of the day. I like to make friends.”

As you can see from Venus’ statements, she wanted to find a solution acceptable for everybody, that fulfilled everybody’s wants and needs. This is certainly an example of being cooperative. She also made sure the wants and needs of the women she represented were shared and discussed. This is an example of her being assertive.

You can also see from her statements everybody appreciated the hard work they were all putting in to find an acceptable solution. In her description of the negotiations, she is very gracious about her negotiation partners.

You can read the full article here.

What do you think of how Wimbledon officials and the players resolved their negotiations? Do you believe it was a win-win? You can answer in the comments below, and we can also continue the discussion on Twitter @ksgrossman.

Interested in learning more about how to resolve a conflict?

What Is a Peace Chest?Email me: Keith@AttorneyGrossman.com, or call me toll free at (877) 687-1392 or locally at (239) 210-7516.

Your initial consultation is free!

Interested in discovering how to improve your conflict management skills? Purchase my e-workbook available on Kindle: What Is A Peace Chest?

The workbook is the first in the “Building Your Peace Chest” series. It will help you understand how to engage conflict with a purpose and goals rather than reacting.

Can You Resolve a Conflict With a Compliment Sandwich?

Posted By on September 30th

Mark Murphy, CEO of LeadershipIQ (@LeadershipIQ), basically takes the position that a “compliment sandwich” is a terrible technique and not effective to resolve a conflict.

RCN-Keyword-"resolve a conflict 500-iStock_000008392553Medium

First, what is a “compliment sandwich”? It is a popular technique that came to the attention of managers many years ago. As Mark Murphy describes it, it is a way of trying to criticize somebody without making them feel bad.

He does not like it because he says that it obscures the actual purpose of the conversation, which is to provide the other person feedback for the purpose of changing their behavior. Murphy believes that the receiver will only remember the two compliments that sandwich the request to change behavior. They won’t actually absorb the important part of the conversation.

Although I agree somewhat with Murphy, I do believe that a “compliment sandwich” has its place. For example, if the negative behavior you’re looking to change is minimal, I see no problem with sandwiching it with two strong compliments so that the person feels very positive about the conversation.

If the negative behavior that needs to be changed is more critical, then you absolutely don’t want that part of the discussion to get lost. You want them to clearly understand the need to change the negative behavior, and you also want them to know that they are a valued member of the team. As Murphy suggests, you can emphasize that you are speaking with them for the greater good, and that you are still cheering for their success. You don’t have to stick to the technicality, however, of sandwiching it between two confirmations. You just have to make sure that your two goals are met: 1) emphasize the need for changed behavior and 2) have a positive conversation.

You can read Murphy’s full article here and watch a video about the “compliment sandwich” technique here.

What do you think of the “compliment sandwich”? Do you believe it is an effective technique for changing behavior? You can answer in the comments below, and we can also continue the discussion on Twitter @ksgrossman

Interested in learning more about how to resolve a conflict?

Email me: Keith@AttorneyGrossman.com, or call me toll free at (877) 687-1392 or locally at (239) 210-7516.

Your initial consultation is free!What Is a Peace Chest?

Interested in discovering how to improve your conflict management skills? Purchase my e-workbook available on Kindle: What Is A Peace Chest?

The workbook is the first in the “Building Your Peace Chest” series. It will help you understand how to engage conflict with a purpose and goals rather than reacting.