When Faced With A Conflict, Preparation Can Be The Key

Posted By on March 31st

My son recently turned 15 years old and was ready to get his driver’s permit. What was supposed to be a “coming of age” experience turned into a “crisis” experience; he just couldn’t pass the test.

My son is extremely bright and charismatic. I think he went into the test with a sense of entitlement, meaning it didn’t occur to him that those qualities would not overcome sub-par preparation.

He was just stunned, and felt the sting of a bruised ego. I could see on his face he was going through shock, denial, acceptance

Being in conflict is a “crisis” experience as well. When faced with a conflict, preparation can be the key. If your preparation is sub-par, and you believe you’re just going to get your way, you could be setting yourself up for shock and denial.

Are you interested in learning more about conflict management? Email me: Keith@AttorneyGrossman.com, or call me toll free at (877) 687-1392 or locally at (239) 210-7516.

Your initial consultation is free!

A Conflict Management Story

Posted By on December 20th

A part of managing conflict includes engaging the conflict, not avoiding the conflict.

Greg Giesen offers a wonderful perspective on preparing to engage (or escalate) a conflict with a conflict management story in a blog post titled, When To Escalate Conflict. You can read more here.

when to escalate conflict A Conflict Management Story

Are you interested in learning more about conflict management? Email me: Keith@AttorneyGrossman.com, or call me toll free at (877) 687-1392 or locally at (239) 210-7516.

Your initial consultation is free!

Conflict Management Techniques from Rep. Tim Ryan

Posted By on December 5th

Huff Post Live shares great conflict management techniques from Rep. Tim Ryan as he reflects on the gridlock in Washington, D.C.

Rep. Tim Ryan Conflict Management Conflict Management Techniques from Rep. Tim Ryan

Click on photo to watch video.

Rep. Ryan discusses action steps to de-escalate your own emotional state when in conflict. His ideas include keeping your head about you, being compassionate and empathetic, being patient, being respectful, and staying connected to your values. He characterizes this as being mindful.

He also talks about these action steps as behaviors to practice before being in conflict. If you found this post helpful, take a moment and forward it to a friend.

Would you like to learn more about conflict management techniques and how to become more mindful? Email me: Keith@AttorneyGrossman.com, or call me toll free at (877) 687-1392 or locally at (239) 210-7516. Your initial consultation is free!

A Story About Change Management

Posted By on November 20th

In a recent TED Talk, Dr. Ernesto Sirolli gives the advice, “If you want to help someone, shut up and listen.”

He gives this advice in a story about change management.

Sirolli is a pioneer in the area of Enterprise Facilitation, a unique economic development approach based on harnessing the passion, determination, intelligence, and resourcefulness of the local people.

Sirolli tells about going with a group in the 70s to Africa to help the local communities grow food. Sirolli’s group came with seeds to grow Italian tomatoes and zucchini. Surprisingly, the local people were not interested in learning to grow food. Sirolli’s group had to pay the locals just to develop some interest.

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Sirolli says, “And we were amazed that the local people, in such a fertile valley, would not have any agriculture. But instead of asking them how come they were not growing anything, we simply said, ‘Thank God we’re here. Just in the nick of time to save the Zambian people from starvation.’”

Sirolli couldn’t believe how beautiful and large the tomatoes grew. His group proudly pointed out to the Zambian people how easy it was to grow the food.

Then, overnight, 200 hippopotamuses came out and ate all the food.

Sirolli goes on:

“And we said to the Zambians, ‘My God, the hippos!’

And the Zambians said, ‘Yes, that’s why we have no agriculture here.’

‘Why didn’t you tell us?’

‘You never asked.’”

Do you need help mastering the skill of listening? Would you like to learn more about change management? Call me toll free at (877) 687-1392 or locally at (239) 210-7516. Your initial consultation is free!

 

What Is Conflict Bullying In the Workplace (Part 3)?

Posted By on November 5th

What is conflict bullying in the workplace, and what should the employer do?

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It is recommended that employers consider adopting a policy that encourages employees to report workplace bullying to human resources and conducting an investigation following such complaints. Besides being a good business policy, anti-bullying policies help promote a culture of civility.

According to a survey from the Society for Human Resource Management, 56 percent of companies have some form of anti-bullying policy that is commonly mentioned in an employee handbook or code of conduct. Responses to workplace bullying include firing, suspension or anger-management training. An anti-bullying policy, which might be added to a larger anti-harassment policy, should define bullying, provide examples of such behavior and communicate a reporting procedure.

But how do you define bullying?

The Healthy Workplace Campaign describes workplace bullying as repeated health-harming mistreatment that takes one or more of the following forms:

  • Verbal abuse.
  • Offensive behaviors that are threatening, humiliating or intimidating.
  • Work interference or sabotage that prevents work from getting done.

Employers say the vast majority of bullying incidents are verbal abuse, such as shouting, swearing and name-calling, along with malicious gossip, rumors and lies. Bullying through technology, such as Facebook or other social media, accounted for about 1 in 5 incidents, a survey found.

Examples of workplace bullying:

  • Falsely accusing someone of errors the person didn’t actually make.
  • Hostile staring or nonverbal intimidation.
  • Unjustly discounting the person’s thoughts or feelings in front of others.
  • Using the “silent treatment.”
  • Making up rules for specific people.
  • Disregarding and discrediting satisfactory work despite evidence.
  • Harshly and constantly criticizing the person.
  • Starting, or failing to stop, destructive rumors or gossip about the person.
  • Encouraging people to turn against the person being tormented.
  • Singling out and isolating one person from other co-workers, either socially or physically.
  • Publicly directing gross and undignified behavior at the victim.
  • Yelling, screaming or throwing tantrums in front of others to humiliate someone.
  • The withholding of resources (time, supplies, support, equipment) necessary for the targeted individual to succeed
  • Threats of job loss
  • Stealing credit

Are you or someone you know experiencing bullying in the workplace? Would you like to talk about it? Call me toll free at (877) 687-1392 or locally at (239) 210-7516. Your initial consultation is free!

Do Sharks Help People? A Look Inside the Heads of the Female Sharks

Posted By on October 28th

Do sharks help people? This ABC Nightline report takes a look inside the heads of the female sharks and provides negotiation tips as well as ideas about what to do when faced with conflict.

Conflict Management Stories: A Story of 2 Sisters and an Orange

Posted By on October 21st

At a recent training presentation I facilitated, I told one of my conflict management stories: a story of 2 sisters and an orange. This story typically makes a strong impression, and this recent training presentation was no exception. After the presentation, a lady came up to me and said that this story really helped her understand the difference between compromise and collaboration. It’s a great story, and you can listen to it here.

What Is Conflict Bullying In the Workplace (Part 2)?

Posted By on October 20th

What is conflict bullying in the workplace and are there laws to stop it from happening?

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Various lobbying efforts across the country have attempted to address workplace bullying.

Since 2003, 25 states have introduced workplace bullying legislation to make workplace bullying illegal. The legislation would allow workers to sue for harassment without requiring a showing of discrimination. This means that employees will be able to file a merit-based lawsuit when they are emotionally harmed by co-workers, subordinates, or superiors who engage in:

  1. Verbal abuse.
  2. Offensive conduct or behavior (including nonverbal behavior) that is threatening, humiliating, or intimidating.
  3. Work interference or sabotage which prevents work from getting done.

In Florida, both the State House and Senate considered anti-bullying bills during the 2013 legislative session. Neither one of those bills passed.

Each State has modeled its piece of legislation after the Healthy Workplace Bill (“HWB”)—a statutory proposed model that was originally introduced in California.  The HWB even got the attention of our federal government in 2010 as discussions concerning workplace bullying were had in both the Senate and the U.S. House of Representative.

The anti-bullying laws would allow litigants to pursue lost wages, benefits and medical expenses and compel employers to prevent an “abusive work environment.”

Although no state has yet to pass legislation that illegalizes workplace bullying, some say it is only a matter of time.

Have questions about bullying in the workplace? Call me toll free at (877) 687-1392 or locally at (239) 210-7516. Your initial consultation is free!

What Is Conflict Bullying In the Workplace (Part 1)?

Posted By on October 5th

Workplace Bullying Television Report

What is conflict bullying in the workplace, and is it happening where you work?

In 2010, a survey sponsored by the Workplace Bullying Institute found that 50% of U.S. workers have experienced or witnessed bullying. In 2011, a poll conducted by the Society for Human Resource Management (SHRM) found that 51% of organizations reported incidents of workplace bullying.

So, what does all this mean?

  • First, employees who feel like they are being bullied at work may be visiting doctors and even taking medication for anxiety or depression. These visits and prescriptions increase employers’ health care costs.
  • Second, employees who voluntarily quit their place of employment as a result of workplace bullying may be entitled to unemployment compensation which, if awarded, increases employers’ unemployment tax payments.
  • Third, harassment based on a protected class could be motivating the bully which would be illegal and needs to be immediately corrected.
  • Finally, an employee who feels like his employer is not responding can be a leader in low morale and high turnover.

Do you have questions about bullying in the workplace? Would you like to talk about it? Call me toll free at (877) 687-1392 or locally at (239) 210-7516. Your initial consultation is free!

What Causes Conflict – Are You Contributing To It?

Posted By on September 20th

Are you contributing to what causes conflict? Are you contributing to the perpetuation of the conflict?

Sometimes we put ourselves into conflict without fully appreciating our own thoughts and behavior.

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I grew up in Miami and became a fan of the University of Miami Hurricanes football program. I had two friends who also were Hurricanes fans from growing up in Miami. However, we all decided to go to college at the University of Florida.

Of course, the first football game of the year was University of Miami versus University of Florida. After being life-long Hurricane fans, my two friends and I found ourselves unable to immediately change our allegiance. Although we sat in the University of Florida student section, we loudly rooted throughout the game for University of Miami. The Florida fans sitting around us did not appreciate our cheering for Miami, especially after Miami won the close game.

Fortunately, no physical confrontation occurred from our behavior. In retrospect, something certainly could have happened. We were young and didn’t give much thought to our behavior. We were not giving much thought to how the other fans sitting by us probably viewed us as being incredibly obnoxious. I think there was also probably a little part of us that liked feeling rebellious and not joining in with the others sitting around us.

There are times in your life as well that you’re not aware of how your thoughts and behavior are being perceived by others. Maybe you’re just having a good time and don’t mean any harm to anyone. Maybe you know exactly what they’re thinking about you, and you still choose to be a little different. How is your lack of self-awareness or disregard for others initiating or contributing to the conflict?

Interested in learning more about what causes conflict? Let’s talk about it. Call me toll free at (877) 687-1392 or locally at (239) 210-7516. Your initial consultation is free!